"I met him when I was fourteen and we finally got together ten years later. He was so refreshingly funny and positive. I loved him, he was my mentor, he was my best friend. When he started telling me what to do and what to think, I didn't see it as a control issue, I just thought it was his way of telling me to take care of myself. After we were married, our relationship went from "You're amazing, Jane," to "You're worthless." In the beginning I just kept trying to make it better. And then towards the end it was like waiting for a pat on the head. He had me reduced to a child, I was so brainwashed. I think it was the repetitiveness of hearing how stupid and useless I was, that I was always wrong. Over trivial things, a misplaced milk cap, canned gravy, the night-light. He kept saying this to me over and over and over. To the point where, towards the end, I really believed there was something wrong with me, that he must be right, I couldn't function in the outside worked without him. I just stayed at home, my whole like revolved around him walking through the front door. It was as though I had lost my personhood. "

She finally realized that trying harder to please him wouldn't change his behavior.