"I never told anybody. In my culture, you keep these things to yourself. If you get married then it's for life, and you have to take whatever is dished out to you. We were married for twenty-four years. The ugliest for me was when it carried over into our intimate life, I was just something he owned and could use at will, and kick aside when he was done. I knew it wasn't right, but I was afraid to say anything to anybody because he was so well liked in the community. I was afraid they would say, "Oh, him? You must be crazy, he is so nice." Everybody that knows him only knows him from the outside; he goes out of his way to be good to people--except with us at home. But he was great at making up, always the trips to Mexico, Hawaii, coming home with roses, with jewelry, telling me he'd be better, that he loved me, that he couldn't live without me. Everyone kept telling me how lucky I was to have a man like him, he was so good to us. When I told the kids I had finally made a decision and has filed for divorce, they said, "Why didn't you do it sooner" Why did you wait so long" " I asked myself the same question."

Her first step to a new life was breaking the silence about the abuse.